Welcome to Gay Husbands, Straight Wives

No matter where you are on your journey,
this healing weekend will give you strength.
For more info, write to me at Bonkaye@aol.com


Gay Husbands Say the Darndest Things    

Read the statements from over 40 women of the words their gay husbands said to them to cover up the lies. If you check off the statements that are/were said to you and count them up, you'll know the truth! You won't have to wonder anymore! Click link above to order.

Bonnie’s two personal mantras for you to repeat daily:

1. Life was never meant to be this complicated. Period.
2. You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you.

Read about broken men on Bonnie's new site at www.Dysfunctionalmen.com

Since 1985, I have counseled over 80,000 women who discovered that their husbands are gay/bisexual. This was following the collapse of my own marriage to a gay man in 1982. In this country, it is estimated that over 4 million women are married to or have been married to gay men, and there are millions more throughout the world. In almost all cases, women with gay husbands are unaware of their husbands' homosexuality at the time of the marriage because the men we marry haven't come to terms with accepting who they are. Why would we even think that a gay man would marry a straight woman? This is a thought we can't comprehend even if we heard about it. The women I work with have had to face this devastating news at some point in their marriages after 5, 10, 20, 30, or even 40 years.

When a woman learns the reason for the problems in her marriage—namely homosexuality--she goes through a wide myriad of emotions ranging from devastation to repulsion. Some women feel a sense of shame, guilt, and responsibility. Let me assure you that you are in no way responsible for your husband's homosexuality. This was pre-determined before birth, and there is nothing you could do to influence his sexuality in any way. You did NOT create it, and you CANNOT stop it or change it. This was not your husband's choice either because homosexuality is not a choice. Almost every gay husband gets married because he loves you and hopes that by loving you enough, his urges to be with men will change. But it can't--no matter how much your husband wants it to change or tries to suppress it. Ultimately, the thoughts and needs are always there.

My goal is to help you understand how this happens and how to cope when you find out. Then I can help you make the difficult decisions so you can move ahead to find the quality of life and the happiness that you deserve. Marrying a gay/bi man was not your choice; however how you do have a choice in how you proceed for the rest of your life. I will help you find the right answers and give you the support you need on your journey to finding the happiness you are seeking.

I offer the following services:

The official Gay Husband checklist to help determine if your husband is gay
Free information and monthly newsletters
On-line support groups for straight wives both in the US/Canada and International
Free counseling for gay men who are ready to come out to their wives
Private counseling for straight wives or couples by phone or e-mail
Bi-yearly healing weekends
On-line support for adult children of straight/gay marriages